Flight 666 Pilot Communications with Drunk Las Vegas Air Traffic Controller Alone in Tower

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Flight 666 Pilot tries to communicate with Drunk Air Traffic Controller alone in the Las Vegas Airport Tower.., Passed Out intoxicated, and “I NEED TO LAND” Damn it !!! Will she lose her Job, get Arrested or get a Promotion ?

need a little time to hold my hand waiting for authorization Southwest 1 1 6 low on petrol fumes running on fumes authorization needed ASAP alpha 1 available copy come again receiving static the Eagle authorization power Lima Lima Charlie running low on petrol passenger capacity of the maximum level waiting for authorization please comply 6 please stand down this is united captain Nero let me handle this please lay back and waiting approximately six six six butts behind your 150 heading taxiing at my command Omega's McCarran Romeo this is united by a five five captain Nero request an Eagle command center communication copy evil commands in our operational picnic are requesting FAA Ferrell's buck supermarket with a slick 5 authorization equipment this is united 555 captain Nero you realize I can have your licenses I'll take over from here zero six six Romeo come again tour not getting authorization to land five 757 in waves low on petrol ship my heading is 1 by 5 west bombs off a runway available requesting authorization to land ASAP cubby Londyn like bender please stand down this is commander been taking command at the emergency landing the teachers in United Nations they're not manually coded every airline pilot fucking Martin my few levels are non-existent my co-pilot is a nervous breakdown and my wife is on call waiting tower you get your shit together wake up and smell the coffee I'm coming in and heading one five nine westbound taking Bravo landing strip Romeo taxi other way I'm coming in there it no need to copy out [Applause]

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